Orientation Presentations (in PDF format)
for:
If you can’t view it download Adobe Acrobat.
|
When you were about to have your first child, you probably read a few
books on pregnancy and toddler-hood. You might even have subscribed to Parenting
Magazine, all the while talking to other parents and feeling your way
through this adventure. You don’t hear much about adolescent support groups
though and there is no less need. This is a span of time when your child will
grow, develop and change as much as they did during those earliest years and
I need to remind you: it’s not the school!! I am not a parent but I am an aunt of four boys. One is 14 going on 15 and
took his Dad on a merry ride when he entered the seventh grade. You would
think that if you have two middle school principals in the family, you’d
listen to them, or seek their advice. Not this guy. He was determined that
his son was not going to be a typical teen. But there was Andrew – listening
to his iPod, IM’ing his friends and as hormonal as a kid can get. He’s a full
foot taller now, changed his hair and lost his glasses. Rather than argue
with him about his i-Pod, I gave him a gift card with a proviso – he had to
download Kenny Rogers “The Gambler” and when he began to fight with his Dad
I’d sing the words to Andrew. I should’ve sung to his Dad too but I wasn’t
able to get away with that. The best advice is this: pick your
battles, don’t constantly snip and micromanage or your child will pull
further and further away from you emotionally. If being polite is a
non-negotiable, then so be it; but you may have to shut the door on the messy
room. I found one parent’s approach enlightened, she uses conditional
agreement. Her son wanted to dye his hair. She said okay – if you still want
to do it in six months, we’ll allow it. A lot of what comes up is forgotten
in six months time, so play the odds! You still
need to network with other parents because the kids will try to bamboozle
you. Andrew told his Mom that he wanted to go to the movies without a chaperone and that
“Sean’s mother said he could go”. So Kath wisely called Sean’s mother and
found out Sean had used the same argument, using Kath as the cool parent.
That time neither boy got to the movies. Who hasn’t been in a theater and
been affected by the antics of ill-bred hooligans? Where were their parents? The
frontal lobe of a teen is not fully developed yet. They will make decisions
that will astound and embarrass you. They still need limits. They still need
you, despite all the signals they give that contradict. Your emotional
response to your children is very important. Why have angina and burst a vein
when you can take a moment, weight the consequences, use your fully
developed, frontal lobe and make an informed decision? Remember: they are 12,
you are not. The best thing you can do is be a parent, NOT A FRIEND.
We're amazed by how many kids with terrible grades go to the monthly dances
each month or go on the D.C. trip. The teachers want me to set academics as a
proviso but I haven't, I believe there are factors parents should control. I
can strenuously suggest that parents consider academics before laying
out dance or D.C. money. There’s no need to be the “cool” parent. Being a good parent is vital to
your child, your family and the rest of us. So stay calm, open and welcoming.
Suspend instant judgment. Talking rather than screaming and nitpicking will
allow you to build on your relationship. Every now and again, give them a hug
– but never in front of their friends. For some support and insight, pick up
the book The Roller Coaster Years. Another find
is Betsy Hart's book It Takes A Parent. Both tomes are important for
those struggling or in need of some guidance as they "do" their
first teenager-hood. ● Home ● Principal’s Desk ● Faculty & Staff ● Library
School Policies ● School Calendar ● PTA News Student Highlights ● Special Programs |